Hoofin: A Blogger with Hoof “in” Mouth Disease

By Sergio Lombardi and Dominique Flemings

There’s a very unique feeling associated with tasting a glass of cheap wine, or seeing a bedroom plastered in livid pink and mahogany borders – one of revulsion, and the blog masters of the Japan Blog Review have both experienced such an emotion. One might not ever expect a website to induce such noxious feelings, but there is such a blog. Its existence, in spite of its dismal quality, begged a review that highlighted its true colors.

Many of you are aware of the unfortunate foot-and-mouth disease outbreak that occurred here in Japan. Perhaps more pressing than this is an outbreak of a hoof-in-mouth disease among the blogs of this country. Fortunately, it is mostly concentrated on just one blog, Hoofin to You!, but readers run the risk of becoming infected and spreading the maligned opinions of the site’s author around the internet. A bit of reading is enough to make you wonder just who is responsible for this tripe.

This question is easily answered. Hoofin to You! is a blog by a fellow named Rick Gundlach who we estimate is pushing fifty but not yet grown up. He no doubt calls himself “Hoofin” as he rapidly moves back and forth between Japan and New Jersey, rather unsure what to do with himself. One could surmise that he still is uncertain about what he wants to do when, and if, he grows up, which would explain the constant relocation. His pastimes include, but are not limited to, political commentary, looking for jobs, and ignoring the hoof in his mouth. When reviewing his blog, we tried hard to separate him from his blog, but unfortunately so many of the shortcomings of the blog are directly caused by its author that this is nigh impossible.

He prefers to think that he blogs anonymously, no doubt because deep down inside he is ashamed of the rubbish he spews out over the internet, similar to the BP oil spill. Also like the BP oil spill is that we know exactly who the culprit is, thanks to none other than Hoofin himself. It required no espionage on our part – in fact, he blows his own cover by revealing his identity in a number of posts about people he has sued, including the Dean of Temple University, one of his former schools. He is such a show-off that he could not resist taking credit for suing people of such high stature. Unfortunately, pride comes before a fall, and Frederick W. Gundlach fell over his own two hooves by boasting about legal proceedings that can easily be connected to his name with a bit of Googling. Hoofin later blamed the judge for exonerating the defendant – it goes to show he can’t accept someone disagreeing with him.

Hoofin’s legal shenanigans don’t end here, though. He even sued a rector of his own religion! This blogger is like a wagamama who finds fault in everything in his environment. Any level-headed business owner would want to avoid being anywhere near him – hire the man and you risk getting sued. Don’t hire him and you risk getting sued. One can only imagine the dialogue between Hoofin and a potential employer when he applies for a job:

Employer: Yes, sir, what can I do for you today?

Hoofin: Yeah, I’d like to apply for a job here.

Employer: All right, then. What work do you do, sir?

Hoofin: I’m a multi-faceted individual who can blog, sue and teach English.

Employer: I see. Unfortunately, we don’t have any positions open. If something opens up, we’ll let you know. Oh, and no need to call us. We’ll call you.

Hoofin: Sounds great! See you in court!

But Hoofin is no Perry Mason and it does not look like he has had much success at winning his own cases. Perhaps that is why he no longer practices law. After all, what good is a lawyer who can’t win cases?

As he no longer practices law, Hoofin has been doing a little job searching, seemingly thinking that he’s somehow separate from what he says in his blog. In a recent post, he blogs about how Interac, a company that dispatches English teachers to public schools, viewed many pages on his blog but did not hire him as a worker after he applied. Is there really any question as to why? In his public blog, he badmouths the previous employers he’s worked for and the schools that he’s attended.

Hoofin found it curious that, after he’d applied to Interac, his server stats indicated a viewer from their company looked at far more pages of his blog than the average viewer, who reads one or two pages and quits, out of what we presume is boredom. But really, it is only natural that a personnel manager is going to do a quick search on the internet to see if the name of a job applicant brings up anything unusual, which in Fredrick’s case it certainly does. And, as Interac no doubt realized, Hoofin to You! is a reason to avoid hiring its author at all costs. In reality, he spends so much time updating his blog that he probably has no time to hold down a real job, anyway. We can only surmise that when his employers realize this and discover that he has a bad case of diarrhea of the blog, they write him off.

We had to scratch our heads in wonder as to why Hoofin would want to work for a company like Interac in the first place. The company is, admittedly, known for paying stingy salaries and doesn’t give employees insurance benefits, something that Hoofin is constantly griping about. For someone who graduated from two prestigious law schools, passed two bar exams and became a CPA, one might suspect he’s experiencing a new low in life if he needs to work at a company that dispatches underpaid English teachers with no insurance and pension benefits. Perhaps employers are beginning to realize him for who he is – an employee who tends to give his managers the hoof. That sort of reputation will never land you a good job.

And the fact that some recent posts suggest he is thinking of going home only adds to our belief that Rick’s blog is adding to his unhappiness here in Japan. But can a guy who finds fault in almost everything be happy living anywhere? We think not!

And speaking about hooves, Hoofin to You! is quite the donkey blog. Hoofin is a staunch Democrat who loves U.S. President Barack Obama, and it shows in the blog’s contents, not to mention the 250 bucks he donated to Obama’s campaign. Hoofin is not without his Japanese political heartthrobs, though. He seems to have the hots for Renho, though we’re afraid to say that she’s one pretty little filly waaaaaaaaay outside of his league.

Hoofin to You’s political commentary is rarely based on facts or reasoning – rather, it seems like a zealous endeavor to try to mislead readers by painting the world in the way the author wishes things to be. Each blog post is like a prayer list, hoping some deity of the cosmos will see it and change the world to his liking. If he’s not wishing, Hoofin is criticizing this or that. Of course, it is easy to criticize when you’re blogging behind a rock.

The blog itself is a good representation of its author. The writing style is a mess, and unless you are a true Hoofin fan, it’s hard not to trip over the tangled quagmire of reasoning, opinion and complaining that fill posts. The content certainly doesn’t suggest extensive education, much less what Hoofin has supposedly achieved. The confusion of reading Hoofin’s material is akin to reading an old text like Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy, but much less enlightening.

The internet and freedom of speech are a wonderful combination. But there is an old saying that what goes around comes around and this blogger may very well have hung himself with his own blog. Hopefully, as time goes on and people begin to realize that this sort of blogging just doesn’t pay, our friend Rick Gundlach will realize that he is his blog’s own worst enemy and vice versa. Until then, as another Rick might say, “Here’s Hoofin at you, kid!”

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~ by Japan Blog Review on September 4, 2010.

2 Responses to “Hoofin: A Blogger with Hoof “in” Mouth Disease”

  1. First of all, I want to say you have an excellent blog.

    I discovered Hoofin on Google while looking up topics to potentially write about. He does not seem to take criticism well, especially when I called him out for reaching a new low in his whining about the JET Program.

    http://www.billowykimono.com/2010/08/guess-what-guys.html

    No wonder this guy can’t get anywhere in the US and Japan: He’s a manchild. It was pretty funny to read about him coming to Japan with high hopes of getting with the women; too bad it didn’t turn out as he thought it would!

    • He and his followers have been complaining about how we don’t allow comments on our blog. Actually this is not true but we will be sure to leave him this one!

      Thanks Senor Science and be sure to drop by again sometime.

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